Every time I meet someone I feel like they immediately put me in the nice guy category. Most women don’t want to date me or put me in the friend zone right off the bat. Don’t women want to date nice guys? Why does this always happen to me? I’m always wary of the self-proclaimed ‘ nice guy. You’re a type 3 nice guy who thinks that women should want to date you and fuck you because you’re a nice guy. You’re wrong, though. Which is why you always get put into the ‘friend zone’ which is a term I despise because the people who complain about being put into the friend zone are often type 3 nice guys. I have more respect for assholes masquerading as nice guys because at least those dudes are sneaky and self-aware enough to know that most self-respecting women don’t go for assholes. So they pretend to be nice guys to get laid.

Why you have to date the Nice Guy

Every woman knows a ‘nice guy’. Then the ‘nice guy’ isn’t nice anymore, because actually, he was never genuinely nice. At one end of the spectrum is the guy who will call us a derogatory name or pretend they weren’t even interested in the first place when we try and let them down. At the other end is seriously abusive behaviour and gaslighting.

The nice guy may have expressed an interest in dating you. The nice guy is the person who you trust and feel comfortable with, but don’t see as “fun” or “.

Men who complain that they are unlucky in love despite their ‘nice guy’ persona may have a sinister agenda. The so-called ‘Nice Guy’, the often physically unattractive man who overcompensates with clingy and over-the-top behaviour to women, is relentlessly mocked online. Dr Robert Glover , who’s studied the issue, says these men are often trying to form “covert contracts” with the target of their affections. In other words, they might use kindness to try and make up for what they lack elsewhere.

The idea is that if you meet someone’s needs without them having to ask, they should meet yours. Dr Glover said: “Others typically do not realise these contracts exist and are often surprised when the Nice Guy lashes out at their failure to keep their end of the deal. And when things don’t go their way, they often complain that they’ve been “friend-zoned” despite the target of their affections never being interested in the first place.

On the Reddit forum dedicated to the subject, the ulterior motives of Nice Guys are highlighted using social media posts and screengrabs:.

The Problem With ‘The Nice Guy’

But hold up! While some people surely can change, you know just as well as I do that a lot of people do not. So why are you wasting your energy? Everyone wants to find someone who loves them wholly, for the person they are. Here’s my very strong case for dating the nice guy.

However, more than one half also reported a preference for a nice guy over a bad boy as a date. As hypothesized, women who placed a lesser emphasis on the.

The answers were split down the middle. Half of the recipients used words like considerate , friendly, kind, amiable, generous. The other half opted for dull, unconfident, needy, weak, self-centred , and clingy. The chap always believes he falls into group one. But to the girl, these very same acts make him appear unconfident, weak, and clingy. They do not connect. There is no romance. And so the spiral of anger and self-reproach begins, until the young man has convinced himself of the old myth, inspired by visions of leather jackets and dark glasses and flicked cigarettes; of bogeymen he has made out of the sportier boys at school with their first cars and beginner beards.

Soon, he has duly set out to be as actively unpleasant as possible in order to find a mate, destroying his chances and self esteem in the process.

6 times dating a “nice guy” went horribly wrong

My client is a nice guy. On Match. The strength of online dating lies in its ability to give us access to total strangers; the downside is how difficult it is to keep their attention.

There’s a problem with dating the ‘nice guy’ says Samantha Rea. Do you agree? Find out here on Grazia.

A nice guy is an informal term for an often young adult male who portrays himself with characteristics such as being agreeable , gentle , compassionate , sensitive and vulnerable. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive or otherwise non-masculine. It is also often used particularly in the context of dating [1] to describe someone who pretends to possess “nice guy” characteristics and uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.

The results of the research on romantic perception of “nice guys” are mixed and often inconsistent. Studies that explicitly use the term “nice guy” sometimes cite research that does not directly use the term, but which addresses behaviours which are often associated with disingenuous “niceness”. One difficulty in studying the “nice guy” phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the “nice guy” construct.

Participants in studies interpret “nice guy” to mean different things. In their qualitative analysis, Herold and Milhausen [6] found that women associate different qualities with the “nice guy” label: “Some women offered flattering interpretations of the ‘nice guy’, characterizing him as committed, caring, and respectful of women. Some women, however, emphasized more negative aspects, considering the ‘nice guy’ to be boring, lacking confidence, and unattractive.

10 Reasons to Give a Nice Guy a Chance

The purpose of this study was to investigate why some women report a desire to date nice guys but prefer dating jerks. Scholarly texts offer evidence that the answer may lie in how the young woman perceives the nice guy—does he possess attractive or unattractive personality traits? The results of the present study suggest that reasons for dating i. This is a preview of subscription content, log in to check access. Rent this article via DeepDyve. Alder, R.

NICE GUY, GOOD GUY, BAD BOY, ASSH*LE: Knowing the Difference, Makes the Difference. (A Dating Book) – Kindle edition by E., Plane Janie, Dude, Tall.

I’m a woman who’s all about going out with nice guys. Shocking, I know — but it shouldn’t be. I’m not an anomaly of the XX chromosome, I’m not boring, overly domestic, and certainly not a prude. I’m just a girl who’s done putting up with the BS and douchebaggery of bad boys. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve dated my share of jerks. That’s part of how I got here. But after kissing a few frogs, I’ve learned the benefits of always choosing a heart of gold over a tall, dark, and handsome jerk.

People tend to want what they can’t have, or be attracted to a challenge bad-boy appeal in a nutshell. You think it’s the heart talking, but it’s not — it’s actually the ego; and it wants to you to think you’re special, or that you can tame him and handle him like other girls couldn’t. I definitely lived in the fantasy of falling in love with a deeply misunderstood soul, and believed for a while that I was the only extraordinary person who could get through to him.

Why Women Should Date Nice Guys

In fact, I have a tendency to date d-bags. The ones that are arrogant. The ones that lie, cheat, and lie again. The ones that withhold affection in order to gain power. How could I know that I have the tendency to do exactly this and yet continue to dive headfirst and knee-deep into the highs that come with catching the one who saves his affections only for the women ready to believe him?

When does the dating advantage go to the nice guy? The “nice guys finish last” idea is that women say they want to date nice men, but in reality, they choose.

I really want to find someone that I can spend my life with, but time after time I seem to end up with guys that treat me like dirt. It as if I am a magnet to these kinds of guys. Is there a way I can change my luck so that I can find someone who I like and who is nice? It is not by chance that you are attracting the men that you are attracting, but rather it appears that you are seeking such people and personalities.

The Torah explains that a relationship between a man and a woman is like a fire. There are fires that burn, with the flames destroying everything in their midst, and there are the fires that warm, that glow, that illuminate. Your relationships sound like they are pretty fiery. They probably start out very exciting, very intense, and yet quickly taper off. Whereas, when you had met someone that was nice, kind and warm, you found that you were bored.

Perhaps the problem is that you are looking for an intense flame but not recognizing that often the intensity is not coming from the right place. A fire burns its highest when there is a conflict, something working against it. When the wind blows, the fire grows, but only until it is extinguished. And when the flame is lower, it is that much less likely to be blown out by some wind if wind comes its way.

3 Mistakes “Nice Guys” Make